Dreams

They are peculiar things, dreams. Over the years I've had some pretty strange ones, and one can't help but be curious as to what they mean. If psychologists weren't so damn expensive, I'd probably have gone to see a few. It's hard to bring to mind many of the dreams that I remember remembering, if that makes sense, but here are a couple that I used to have quite often, reoccurring dreams I had for years.

In one, I wake up in my bedroom at my parents house, in the basement. Everyone else sleeps on the second floor, but somehow when I wake up I know that something terrible has happened. I explore the house only to find my family dead, and the deed done by some creature I could never really imagine, and never ended up visualizing. I would spend the rest of my dream trying to catch this thing and stop it, only to continue finding people dead. I'd end up in a small town a few miles away from my house, where I spent much of my waking life, with friends from the area, trying to find these monsters, and never catching up to them- only witnessing the death they leave in their wake. I wake up.

The second was much more simple, and shorter, and also varied a bit from time to time. The basic premise of the dream was that at the beginning I have figured out how to fly; it takes some sort of mental effort that makes sense in the dream, but that I could never explain. The first part of the dream was basically me flying, sometimes I'd be doing spectacular things like fighting crime or committing it, other times I'd be doing nothing in particular other than just flying around. But inevitably in these dreams I would lose the ability to fly, seemingly due to fatigue, but a fatigue I couldn't really understand. I would spend the rest of the dream trying to remember how I was doing it; running and jumping, falling on my face. People would come and go, puzzled at my behavior, and of course unbelieving when I tried to explain it. As a feeling of hopelessness crawled over me, it seemed to pull me out of sleep. There were many times in these dreams where I almost realized that I was dreaming, coming very close to lucid dreaming, but always falling short.

I have no idea what these dreams mean, but I find it interesting that these are the only dreams I have had on a reoccurring basis, and both dreams have a basic theme of futility. Ah well, maybe I'll never understand.